Today
by A Poisoned Aishiteru
Summary: After the death of his friend, Roy begins to turn cold. When he eventually gets in a fight with Edward and leaves to think, he meets an old man preaching and telling him to live today like it was his last. Songfic. Roy/Ed


So, let's start it off with the truth of this story, shall we? I had this idea back sometime in May, where it would just be a one-shot and nothing extensive. I started writing, and if anyone knows me, they know that I'm a description whore. So basically, the story is no longer a one-shot, for fear of it being way, way, way too long. So, I broke it off into parts. Every chapter will be one of the phrases he has to do on the list. Don't understand what I mean? Well, you will once you read further.

**A/N: Fullmetal Alchemist doesn't belong to me. The song used doesn't belong to me either, but to Nickelback.**

**Song: 'If Today was your Last Day' by Nickelback.**

Anyway, thank you for reading. And I hope you enjoy it. (:

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**Today**

He still couldn't believe it had happened. Sure, it had been a week since the death of his best friend, and his funeral had been yesterday afternoon, but even when his casket was lowered, Roy couldn't accept that Maes was really gone. It hadn't been a quick thing; no gunshot in duty or random attacking on the street. They had known he was dying, though the illness was unknown. They had known for several weeks, heck, he went a week and a half longer than the doctors had expected, but it was still the same fate.

He wasn't there when it happened, only finding it out from a hysterical Gracia one hour later. It had infuriated him that he hadn't been there when he finally passed, since the dark haired man had visited him every week since he had been enrolled in the hospital and bedridden. Of course, the one moment he reluctantly left to try and catch up on his work, he received the phone call that held the fate of his friend.

Roy Mustang was usually great at taking things, but this time…he broke apart. His best friend was actually gone. Even though he couldn't accept it just yet, he knew something was different. Deep down, he felt it. He was just walking home from his day at work, which had been rough. The office had been hectic all week, and with the funeral just being yesterday, it hadn't settled down quite yet. Hawkeye, usually the glue that held Roy together, had broken down and cried at the ceremony, and today, the coal-eyed man could still see the puffiness and redness of her eyes as she ordered him around.

Havoc and Breda, for once, were quiet all day and barely spoke. No sarcastic remarks, no poking fun at Roy or anything. Fuery had tried to lighten the mood a bit and start talking, before the man immediately broke down and excused himself. Almost the same could be said about Falman, though he didn't actually break down. Just a swipe at his face every now and then, though he still knew he was using every girth he had to keep it in.

It was a sad day at Headquarters.

He could see it weighing down everyone, individually and as a whole. One thing he noticed, in particular, was with Riza and Havoc. They had been dating some months now, a little less than Roy had with Ed, and everything had been as smooth as it could be with a gun-manic and chain-smoker. But today was different. There was something in the air, about how Riza leaned away instinctively every time he came near her, and when he finally got the hint, he stopped doing it. He never stopped doing something, Roy bitterly lamented, so it perked his interest, as he tried to get his mind off other things.

And now, walking home, he wasn't excited about reaching the destination. Nope, not after the morning he had with Edward. There had been screaming, a whole lot of screaming and yelling, along with curses and things that shouldn't had been said. Of course, with everything that just happened, he wasn't in the best state and the slightest thing had set him off. He didn't mean any of it, but before he had his chance to apologize, his anger got the best of him and he stormed out, off to work and to leave the mess and fight in the air with Edward. Roy felt terrible, especially since he was sure it was only the blonde's ambition to soothe him.

Edward had brought the topic up of his mother, and how he was angry and rash when she died. But his words set him off instead. He said he wasn't being rash or careless, and instead, he sent the short blonde on a rage back to him, yelling and fighting back that he was just trying to help and that Hughes was his friend too. But no, the man-who-can't-express himself wasn't going to stop, and he slammed the door to their two-story home, leaving Ed with tears streaming down his cheeks and the kitchen in total ruin.

And when he reached the patio, he wasn't surprised to find it locked. Usually Edward would either leave it unlocked and be waiting at the kitchen counter or in the living room, curled up on the couch with a book when he got home. He could swear the man had bat hearing, because he knew exactly when the car that took him home pulled up and heard the steps that Roy took to get to the door. But he hadn't opted for the car today. He wanted to walk home, alone, and think.

Now, approaching the steps, he was glad he walked home. He would never have been able to concentrate, with one of those slack-jawed under-ranked officers going on and on about some shit that Roy could care less about at the moment.

He reached inside his coat pocket, pulling out the silver house key, unlocking it, before stepping inside. It was immediately dark, as he shoved his right hand out to feel around for the light switch somewhere along the wall. He sighed when the lights finally illuminated the room, showing the hallway empty. No blonde running up to hug and tackle him, no amber eyes gazing at him in actual wonder and something else, something much deeper than trust. Shrugging his coat off and boots, he turned a bit and walked straight into the kitchen. No man sitting and eating something yet again, waiting for Roy to tell him something about his day.

The older man sighed, running a hand through the dark, messy hair upon his head. He and Edward had fought many times before! Why was this fight any different? Of course, they made up right away, before a whole day went by…and he never walked out without returning right away before Ed had the chance to move from the spot he stormed out at.

As he reached the stairs, no signal had reached him yet to imply that the blonde knew he was home. He climbed the steps carefully, being sure not to slip or trip on anything. The floor had three bedrooms and two bathrooms, including one in the master room. It was directly in front of where the stairs ended, some feet back. The door was shut and no light was coming from it. If he hadn't been screwed before, he was seriously fucked now.

He opened the door as quietly as he could, peaking his head in the small crack he had created. Everything was still at the moment, as he shimmed through the space, shutting the door without a sound. The wooden floor did good to mask his footfalls, and the littered clothing and towels did their share of helping too. The bed was directly in front of the door, and as Roy approached the right hand side of the bed, his side, he almost cried.

Edward wasn't facing him, and hadn't even looked over from where he lay. Roy couldn't tell if he was asleep or just lying there, but the even breathing told him that he was resting. His mess of blonde hair sprinkled down his shoulders and the squishy pillows, as Roy lamented Edward was wearing a shirt. Ed was pissed, especially since the only time Edward slept fully clothed was when Roy was sleeping on the couch.

As he undressed and changed into his night clothes, he was a bit nervous with climbing into bed. The blonde hadn't said anything to him, which wasn't boding well, but he also hadn't told him to get out of the bedroom yet. 'Ah, screw it.' He thought, scooting himself into the soft covers, pulling them close to his body. He took a deep breath and slowly drew it out, before turning to lay on his side, so his coal-colored eyes faced Edward's back.

Without thinking, since he never had a second guess on normal days, he automatically put his left arm over Edward, to pull him closer to his chest. The shorter man surprised him next, by scooting _away _from Roy and the arm, to which he withdrew it quickly and deposited it at his side. He frowned, especially since Ed said nothing after doing that, leaving Roy to contemplate in the dark.

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When Roy woke up the next morning, earlier than he usually did, he felt terrible. His head hurt, his throat was dry, and his eyes were crusted with dried tears. Running his left hand through the full head of hair, he rolled over, still seeing the back of Edward, exactly like how it looked as he fell asleep last night. Rolling over, he peered at the clock. Six thirty. He didn't have to be at work until eight. Great.

He thought about going back to sleep, but the thought immediately turned around when he remembered his little stunt last night. Ed shrugging his arm off without making a peep. It instantly wanted to make him jet away, since he exactly wasn't in his right mind to make it up to him just yet. Sighing, he threw the covers off and began to get ready for work. Twenty minutes plus later, he was at the door, with time to kill.

Where else to lonely men with nothing to do head at seven AM? Why, the park of course! The leaves were a brilliant green this time of year, while the flowers were in great shape as well as the hills of grass. The playgrounds would house multiple children later on in the day, but now every slide and swing were completely void of life. As he strolled along the cemented path, one he had made with Edward, Hughes, hell his staff, before, the man stopped suddenly at a bench. It was under the gazebo, which was currently covered mostly with ivy and some weird pink flower that Roy wasn't about to identify. It was cozy, in some romantic way, especially since he had never been down this way before. He and Ed had usually gone down the other way, since this terrace was full of other couples whenever they had ventured into the park.

But now it was quiet, and no one was huddled under the gazebo. The bench was by the entrance, so as he sat down on the tough wooden seat, he could still see if anyone was coming inside. Roy had been sitting for a few moments, contemplating about skipping work or going home to wait for Edward, when a squeaking caught his attention. It wasn't an animal or something like that, but more screechy, like a wheel on something. Just as he figured that out, he turned his head so fast to the right that he got whiplash, to see who or what was coming towards him.

It was an old man, in baggy clothes and graying hair complete with a beard. Roy watched him wheel the cart slowly over, which was aloft with bags of things the Colonel couldn't quite point out. He watched him slowly, waiting for him to fully pass and walk out, especially since the man hadn't made any eye contact until his cart was fully past Roy. Then the man suddenly turned to him on the bench, watching him with trained eyes and a crooked head.

It had been at least a full minute of this staring, as Roy opened his mouth to say something to the man. But as his lips parted to speak to the old man, the civilian beat him to the punch. "Have you lived like you're not living twice?"

This shocked Roy, making him utterly blank for one moment before he had the chance to gather what the man had said. Had he lived like…he wasn't living again? How did the man…how—why did he make such an accusation?

"Wh-What do you mean?" He stuttered out, as the man smiled a gap and rotting grin towards him, as if he was used to this sort of thing. "I mean exactly what I said." The man replied calmly, looking at him straight in the eye. "Have you lived each moment like your last? People make many regrets in this lifetime, before they realize some mistakes are too large to turn over in time. Have you been able to upturn every stone and leave your fears behind?"

Roy was loss for words. It was like the man had been living with him over the past few weeks, and knew every flaw he was guilty of. It was creepy and terrifying and…true. Spot on. He hadn't been 'living like it was his last moment', since he didn't believe he was about to die any time soon. But…how…?

But just as soon as he realized this, Mustang also thought of something else. "Wait a second, how to you know this? How do you get the fucking gall to go up to strangers and preach about all this 'regrets' and 'mistakes' shit!" He said, standing up immediately. The man looked a bit surprised, taking a step back, but not enough to do anything else. He stayed with the same body posture and same knowing smile, even at the outburst.

"I have to say you're a strange one, Colonel, I'll give you that. No one ever reacts that strong to their memories. And you've already taken the first step. Y'know what they say: the first step is the longest stride." The man shook a rough finger at him, before he chuckled lightly to himself, as if the words held a secret joke behind them. "And look where it got you! On the road to recovery." Another fit of chuckled rattled through his thin body.

"How'd you know I'm a colonel?" Roy asked suddenly, drawing his dark eyes to the man. They burned with confusion, wonder, a bit of anger, and something else…fear? How'd this man guess all these wrong things with Roy, with wording that confused him a bit sometimes no doubt, though it was still spot on. It was like he was watching, and that freaked the colonel out a bit, especially since if he was being watched, wouldn't that meant Ed was being too? And that pissed Roy off.

The man simply pointed to his shoulders, showing the ranks and pins that were held on the material. Oh. That. He forgot he had been in his military garb, which obviously would display his rank pretty well so everyone would know who he was and gave him respect. "Don't worry, Colonel, I'm not some crazy stalker. I may have been in the war, but I'm not as insane as those maniacs that live around here." He said, pointing to his head to gesture to him being sane, as Roy's breath caught in his throat. "You were a solider?" "I was a soldier in Ishbal alright, sir, and trust me, I don't regret a thing."

Roy almost fainted at these words, as they sent him gaping and sputtering at the man. He didn't regret the war, especially being a god damned solider? What was wrong with this guy? There was no way he was sane! "You don't regret anything?!" He almost yelled, looking at him with wide, wild eyes. "Why the hell not?"

"I've learned that regretting is the taking the free ride in life, which is something I learned and regretted doing. Every second counts, right, Colonel? I'm not saying you're a bad person, but nobody's perfect, and I'm sure you've barely lived as if today was your last day." The man laughed a lowly to himself, as he shook his head, before slumping his shoulders with a grin. "Here, take this." He handed Roy a piece of folded up paper.

He was reluctant to take the scrap, since he had no idea what he could be receiving, but did so a second later, immediately putting his hand down and looking back into the graying eyes of the man. Said man nodded once, before placing both hands on the cart, and beginning to silently squeak away. Roy looked at him incredulously, before putting his gaze down at the folded up paper in his hands. But no sooner later had it started, the squeaking stopped and someone called out to him.

"Oh, and Colonel? You can't rewind a moment in this life." The man called over his shoulder, before looking back forward and continuing on. "Remember that!"

Roy sighed, gazing at the hard leather coat on the back of the man before back to the matter at hand. It was a piece of white paper, like document paper, folded four times into small, even squares. Slowly, he opened it, expecting to find…well, he wasn't sure what he expected to find inside the paper, but he knew it wasn't looking up for him, since he had just met a psycho-mind-reading-bum pushing a squeaky cart. Oh, the sky was looking gray.

But he was almost surprised, as his fingers pried the paper open to reveal words, set in phrases across the page. The writing was printed, though not necessarily neat, spaced evenly apart down the page. He began mumbling the phrases out to himself.

_Donate every dime _

_Call the friends you never see_

_Reminisce old memories_

_Forgive enemies_

_Mend a broken heart_

_Shoot for the stars_

_Find the one you're dreaming of and fall in love_

_Swear up and down to god above_

_Say goodbye to yesterday_

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Thanks for reading. Reviews/comments greatly appreciated. (:


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